Remote refuges shaping men and prospects for medals.

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“If we're lucky, we might be able to swim with some seals.”

It's 7:30 AM on a damp September morning in Newquay. Former Leeds player and Ireland rugby league international Anthony Mullally is carefree, jumping into the stormy waves at a spot popular with fishermen for its deep water, known as Fly Cellars.

Wild swimming became a part of Mullally's life after he stepped away from professional rugby and moved to North Cornwall in 2020. The cold water practice, along with breathing exercises and physical activities like jiu-jitsu, forms the foundation of the men's retreats Mullally conducts to help communities of men rethink their notions of masculinity.

Breathing exercises are also an integral part of Mullally's work as a high-performance coach for athletes, including world bronze medalist in taekwondo Aaliyah Powell, who is preparing to compete for Great Britain at the 2024 Olympics in Paris.

Mullally's journey to this new perspective began right after reaching a high point in his sports career. In 2017, he felt a decline in motivation, despite having fulfilled a childhood dream by winning the Super League Grand Final in front of 74,000 spectators at Old Trafford.

“External achievements and status didn’t make me happy, and I was left with a deep sense of emptiness,” he said. “I remember visiting a sports psychiatrist in 2016 and feeling ashamed when I talked about it with the other guys. I got a lot of good from rugby, but mental health was seen as something wrong with you, and it was best to keep all emotional issues under control.”

For men, there is a real fear of being seen as weak. This is the biggest source of shame for men. Vulnerability can be mistaken for weakness. Being called "soft" is the worst feeling.

By the end of his career, Mullally was playing for the Canadian team Toronto Wolfpack, but the team's time in the Super League came to an end during the Covid-19 pandemic. This became the catalyst for his departure from the sport and his move to Newquay for a new life by the sea.

In the past three years, Mullally has organized men's retreats in Cornwall, Yorkshire, Sweden, and Spain with his partner Josh Boulding. There are also plans to hold them in California.

"I started studying breathing exercises and mindfulness because I felt insincere," Mullally said. "I was having too much fun, I was fighting, and I almost ended up in jail at one point. I wanted to be seen as a tough guy."

“I didn’t have a father as a positive male role model to show me what it means to be a man. When I think of typical masculinity, I think of being a tough guy, and I needed to rethink all of that.”

He explained that retreats arose after observing unhealthy behavioral patterns in himself and in others.

This is mushroom season at one of the autumn men's retreats in North Yorkshire. Twelve men gathered to spend three days in Spartan dormitories on the grounds of Camp Hill, to revive their connection with themselves and with nature.

Throughout the long holiday weekend, the group will explore what masculinity means to them through various activities, including sharing personal stories around a fire circle, practicing breathing exercises for emotional release, strengthening physical connections through jiu-jitsu, and building resilience through cold swims and sauna sessions.

“This is a space for men to explore different aspects of their personality,” Boldin said. “It encompasses all sides and archetypes of masculinity, from an interest in physical activities to a desire to connect more with creativity.”

32-year-old Thomas Cholk, who played rugby in both codes - union and league, praised Saracens and Bedford Tigers, and is also part of the group.

“This is a supportive, open, and honest space among men that I have never experienced before. We have mutual understanding,” he said.

"Masculinity can be understood as the necessity to be stoic, to stand firm and keep going even when you feel sad, down, and upset. When you find yourself in such a situation, even if you want to cry, you do it alone."

"Someone from the group mentioned that they became softer with their family," he added. "That word stuck with me. When I was sad and feeling bad, it would turn into rage, and I wouldn't show up for my family. I realized that it doesn't have to be anger."

Throughout the day, men share, learn, and strengthen their relationships with each other while swimming, hiking in the woods, and carving wooden spoons from logs under parachutes.

Alex Platt, 33, said that the retreat made him think about how he can live a better life as a man with compassion and a commitment to serving others, especially his young nephews, godchildren, wife, and friends.

28-year-old professional rugby league player Joe Keyes from the Halifax Panthers also attended the retreat and confirmed Mullally's experience in rugby, with his inclination towards drinking cultures and the masculinity associated with "being tough."

“In the past, it was all about holding everything in and moving forward. But being open about your feelings shows greater resilience and strength. Men who speak this way in situations where it’s not the norm demonstrate courage,” said Kiz.

“I felt so comfortable at the retreat among a group of men I had never met before. It was a special feeling.”

Kiz said that breathing techniques, in particular, will help him be more authentic and balanced in everyday life and on the field.

Mullally is also assisting the Great Britain team in the lead-up to the 2024 Olympics in Paris. In addition to men's retreats, he works as a high-performance coach for professional athletes, including Powell and the British skateboarding team.

The training focuses on mindfulness and breathing exercises to overcome issues with poor breathing, stress, and anxiety that can hinder performance.

Powell uses the Mullally breathing practice before and after fights for recovery and emotional control.

Powell, who competes in the same weight category as two-time Olympic champion Jade Jones from Great Britain, said: "I am always looking for ways to control the flow of the fight and develop the match on my own terms."

“You can't do this without being able to control yourself and your emotions. Anton's support helps me with this, and it's the biggest advantage I have before the Olympics.”

“I use his controlled breathing techniques to slow down my breathing. It helps calm my central nervous system so I don’t go into a panic state, start to hyperventilate, or overthink.”

As a fighter, I prefer to feel relaxed - that's when I perform at my best, and these techniques help me achieve that.

Powell added that Mullally's techniques are important for maximizing the rest minute between rounds to slow down the heartbeat and recover as quickly as possible.

Mullally also looks at the future of sports psychology. He says it will be a way for him to stay in the game and support young athletes.

When asked if he is proud of the space he has created for men, he replied: "It's not me, it's the group that conditioned this space. There is no leaderboard here, and everyone is equal."

“We simply help men change their lives.”